Porch Stories

Questions to ask · Family and parenting

Questions to ask about family and parenting

These are the questions where you are part of the answer. Your parents remember the day you arrived, how they chose your name and what you were like before you could talk. Your grandparents remember your mother or father as a small child with scraped knees and big plans.

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Nobody else can tell you these things. The first years of your life exist only in other people's memories, and so do the early years of the family: the first home, the holiday routines, the dish that appears on the table every year without anyone asking why.

Asking is a gift in both directions. You receive the opening chapter of your own story, and your parent or grandparent gets to look back on some of the most important work of their life with someone who is plainly glad they did it. The questions below are a small sample. The linked ones lead to a full guide with advice on how to ask, alternative wordings, follow-up ideas and an example answer. Baby pictures and family albums are the natural companions to this topic.

Family and parenting questions to try

After they answer, tell them what you remember. These questions are best as a two-way conversation.

The rest of the questions are in the journals

The Tell Me Your Story journals have chapters on becoming a parent and on family life, and the journals for Grandma and Grandpa add one on being a grandparent. Photo pages and a family tree sit alongside the questions.

Free printable

The 25 questions you’ll wish you had asked

For your Mom, Dad, Grandma or Grandpa: the stories families most often lose, on one page to print or keep on your phone. Free when you join the porch list.