Questions to ask
Questions to ask your grandparents about their life
Good questions to ask your grandparents are simple and specific: where they were born, what their school and first job were like, how they met, what family holidays looked like and what they hope you remember. Ask one question at a time, bring an old photo, and write the answer down the same day in their words.
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Why these questions matter
Your grandparents remember a world you will never see: the house with no television, the school walk in the snow, the first wages, the wedding with fifty cousins. Once those memories are gone, nobody else can fill them in.
Most grandparents love being asked. What they need is a good question and someone who listens. The questions below are grouped by stage of life, and each one links to a page with why it matters and how to ask it.
You do not need to cover everything at once. Pick one question that feels natural for your next visit or phone call, and let the conversation go wherever it goes. Over a few months, those small conversations add up to a record of a whole life, told in your grandparent's own words and, if you write it down, kept for the grandchildren who come after you.
Questions about their childhood
Begin with the beginning. Childhood questions are gentle and concrete, and one small detail, a smell from the kitchen, a game in the street, usually brings ten more with it.
- When and where were you born? What do you know about the day you arrived?
- What were your parents like? Describe each of them in a few words.
- What is the very first thing you can remember?
- What did the house you grew up in look, sound and smell like?
- Did you have brothers or sisters? What were they like as children?
- What games did you play, and who did you play them with?
- What did your mother cook that you still remember the taste of?
Questions about school and growing up
School stories are safe ground, easy to start and often funny. The teenage years show your grandparent as someone other than the person you have always known: young, curious and sometimes a little foolish.
- What was your school like? How did you get there each morning?
- Tell me about a teacher you still remember.
- Who was your best friend at school? What did you get up to together?
- What did you do in the summer holidays?
- What was the world like when you were a teenager?
- What did you and your friends do for fun on a weekend?
- Where was the first place you travelled far from home?
- If you could go back and tell your young self one thing, what would it be?
Questions about love and marriage
How your grandparents met is the start of your family's story. Ask for the small details: the dance, the letter, the first impression. If a grandparent has lost their partner, these questions can be tender; go slowly and let them choose how much to share.
- How did you meet Grandma? What did you notice first?
- How did you meet Grandpa? What did you notice first?
- What was your first date like?
- Tell me about your wedding day.
- Where was your first home together? What was in it?
- What was the hardest time you went through together, and how did you get through it?
- What makes a marriage last, in your experience?
Questions about work and hard times
Many grandparents worked hard through lean years and rarely talk about it. Ask about the first job, the proudest work and how the family managed when money was tight. You will hear a lot about resilience, and usually some good advice.
- What was your first job, and how much did it pay?
- What kinds of work have you done in your life?
- Which job made you proudest, and why?
- Who taught you the most about working hard?
- How did you and the family get by when money was tight?
- How did the world treat working women when you were young?
- What skill are you proudest of having learned?
Questions about raising a family
Your grandparents knew your parent as a baby. These questions bring back the early years of the family, the holidays and the traditions, and some stories your parent may never have heard either.
- What do you remember about the day your first child was born?
- What was my parent like as a baby and a little child?
- What were holidays and birthdays like in your house?
- What family traditions did you start?
- What is a moment with your children you will never forget?
- What are you proudest of about your children?
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All four journals: Mom, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa.$24.99See the journalQuestions about being a grandparent
These are the questions where you are part of the answer. They are often the most moving to ask, and the ones grandchildren treasure most later.
- How did you feel when you heard you were going to be a grandpa?
- How did you feel when you heard you were going to be a grandma?
- What do you remember about the first time you held me?
- What do you love doing with your grandchildren?
- What is your favourite memory with me so far?
- What would you like us to do together that we haven't done yet?
Questions about home and everyday life
The Sunday routine, the family recipe, the song on the radio: everyday life is what fades first. Ask about it while your grandparent can still describe the rooms and the rituals in detail.
Questions about life lessons
A long life teaches things no book can. Asking for advice is also a quiet way of telling your grandparent that their experience matters to you.
Questions about what they hope you remember
Leave these for a quiet moment. Give time, and let your grandparent write the answer if saying it out loud is hard.
How to ask your grandparents about their life
The Tell Me Your Story, Grandma and Tell Me Your Story, Grandpa journals hold 100 guided questions each, one per page, with photo pages and a family tree, so the answers end up in one keepsake in their own handwriting. To start small, get the free 25 questions on one printable page.
- Keep it to one or two questions per visit or phone call. There is no rush.
- Bring a photo album. Pictures open doors that questions alone cannot.
- Ask for scenes and details: names, places, what things cost, what people wore.
- Let silences sit. A pause often means a memory is on its way.
- Record their voice if they are happy to, and write the answer down the same day.
- If they live far away, send a question by post or leave a journal with them to fill in at their own pace.
Questions, answered
What are good questions to ask your grandparents?
Ask about where they grew up, their school, their first job, how they met, what family holidays were like, the best advice they ever received and what they hope you remember. Specific questions about places and people work better than broad ones.
How do I ask my grandparents about their life without it feeling like an interview?
Ask one question at a time during an ordinary visit or call, bring an old photo to look at together, and follow their story rather than your list. A journal they can fill in alone also takes the pressure off.
What if my grandparent has memory problems?
Long-ago memories often stay clearer than recent ones, so childhood and early adulthood questions can work well. Keep sessions short, use photos and music as prompts, and write down whatever comes, even in fragments.
Should I record my grandparents' stories?
Yes, if they are comfortable with it. A voice recording keeps the way they tell a story, and handwritten answers keep their handwriting. Many families do both.
Is there a printable list of questions for grandparents?
Yes. The free 25 questions printable on this page fits on one page, and the Tell Me Your Story journals for Grandma and Grandpa hold 100 guided questions each, with room to write.
