Porch Stories

Questions to ask · Love and marriage

Questions to ask about love and marriage

How two people met is the first page of your own story. If your grandfather had gone to a different dance, or your mother had not stopped to give a stranger laundry advice, the family around your table would not exist.

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Most of us know a one-line version of these stories. The full version has a place, a first glimpse, a clumsy first sentence and a moment of knowing, and the people who lived it usually love being asked. Love stories are among the happiest memories anyone has, and they show parents and grandparents as young people with nerves and hopes of their own.

If both partners are present, ask each of them for their own account and enjoy the friendly disagreement over the details. If someone is telling the story on their own now, ask gently and let them set the pace. The questions below are a small sample. The linked ones open a full guide with tips on how to ask, other wordings, follow-ups and an example answer. A wedding photograph in their hands is a wonderful place to start.

Love and marriage questions to try

Ask what they noticed first. It sends the storyteller back to one particular room, and that is where the best details are.

The rest of the questions are in the journals

Every Tell Me Your Story journal has a chapter on love, from the first meeting to the life built together. Written by hand, it becomes the family's own love story, kept in the words of the person who lived it.

Free printable

The 25 questions you’ll wish you had asked

For your Mom, Dad, Grandma or Grandpa: the stories families most often lose, on one page to print or keep on your phone. Free when you join the porch list.