How to make a family history gift for your parents

What counts as a family history gift

When people hear “family history” they often picture charts of ancestors going back centuries. That is one kind. For most families, the more precious kind is much closer to home: the life your own mom and dad have lived, told in their own words.

A family history gift is anything that gathers those things and makes them easy to keep and pass on. It can be a book of their answers, a family tree with the names filled in, a photo album where every face has a name, a collection of the recipes everyone asks for, or a recording of a long conversation.

What makes it a gift for your parents, and not only for the family, is the message inside it: your life is interesting to us, and we want to hear it from you.

Start with what only your parents know

Public records can tell you dates and places. They cannot tell you what the house smelled like on a Sunday, why the family moved, how your parents met, or what your grandmother used to say when someone slammed a door. Those things live with your parents.

So begin there. Before you choose a format, make a short list of what you are most curious about. It usually falls into five groups:

• Their own story: childhood, school, first jobs, how they met, the early years of the family.
• The people before them: what their parents and grandparents were like, and the stories they were told as children.
• Names and connections: who is who in the old photos, how the cousins are related, where each branch of the family lived.
• Things made by hand: recipes, songs, sayings, the way a holiday was always done.
• What they have learned: the advice they would give, and what they hope the family keeps.

Your list decides which of the six ideas below fits best. Many families combine two or three.

Six ways to make one

Each of these can be finished, or at least well begun, in time for Christmas. They are ordered from the least preparation to the most.

• A guided memory journal. A book of questions, one on each page, that your parent answers by hand. The questions do the planning for you, and the result is a life story in their own handwriting. This is the simplest complete gift, and the one that asks least of you before Christmas.
• A family tree, filled in together. Print a tree, sit down with your parents and write in every name, date and place they know. Add a nickname or one line about each person. The afternoon of filling it in is part of the present.
• A labeled photo album. Choose twenty to forty photos from the boxes and the phones, print them, and leave room under each for a caption. Give the album with the captions blank, and write them together as your parents tell you who, where and when.
• A family recipe collection. Gather the dishes everyone associates with home. Write each recipe on its own page with the name of the person it came from and one memory about it. Photograph the original handwritten cards if they exist.
• A recorded conversation. Sit down with one parent and a phone, ask a handful of questions and let the recording run. Voices are a treasure of their own. Our guide on how to record a parent’s life story walks through it.
• A map of the family’s places. Print a map and mark where your parents were born, where they went to school, where they met and every home since. Add a line of story beside each pin.

Why a guided journal is the easiest place to begin

The hardest part of any family history project is the blank page. A guided journal removes it. Your parent opens the book, reads one question and answers it. Nobody has to decide where to start or what matters.

Our Tell Me Your Story journals are built this way. Tell Me Your Story, Mom and Tell Me Your Story, Dad each have 100 guided questions in ten chapters, from childhood and first love to work, family and the lessons of a lifetime, plus 120 quick memory questions about favorite songs, first cars, recipes and the little things. Several of the other ideas on this page are already inside: there are photo pages, then-and-now pages, a family tree, a keepsakes page and a page for a letter to the next generation.

The journals are printable digital downloads. You receive five PDF files, in US Letter and A4, in full color and ink saver, plus a printable cover, and you print them at home or at a local print shop. They can also be filled in on a tablet. The page about the journals has the full details.

If you would like to see the kind of questions inside before you decide, there is a selection in questions to ask your parents.

How to put it together as one gift

A family history gift feels most complete when it has a center and one or two companions. A good combination for Christmas looks like this:

1. Choose the center. For most families that is the journal, printed and bound, or at least its cover and first chapter.
2. Add one thing you prepared yourself. Ten old photos in an envelope, the family tree with the names you already know written in, or a recipe card in your own handwriting.
3. Write a note. Tell your parents which stories you are hoping to hear, and that there is no hurry and no wrong way to do it.
4. Include a pen that is a pleasure to write with.
5. Set a first date. “New Year’s Day, after lunch, chapter one” turns a present into a plan.

For wrapping and printing ideas, see how to give a digital gift on Christmas morning.

Give it as an invitation

A gift like this asks your parents to do something, so the way you give it matters. Keep it light and warm. You are not handing over a project; you are telling them you would love to listen.

Say what you are curious about. Mention one specific thing: the summer job Dad always jokes about, the town Mom grew up in, the story of the day you were born. A specific question shows real interest, and it gives them an easy first page.

Offer to do it together. Plenty of parents would rather talk than write. If that is yours, ask the questions out loud and write down what they say. Many families find that those conversations are the best part of the whole gift.

And let them set the pace. Any order works, and short answers are welcome. A few lines on a page are a real piece of family history.

Make it a family project

If you have brothers and sisters, a family history gift is a natural one to share. Each of you remembers different things and is curious about different chapters, and your parents get the pleasure of telling the same story to more than one listener.

Split it simply. One of you prints and binds the journal, one gathers and scans photos, one collects the recipes. Take turns sitting down with Mom or Dad through the year, a chapter at a time. If both parents are getting a journal, and perhaps the grandparents too, the Family Bundle has all four editions in one download.

Grandchildren can join in as well. A child who asks a grandparent one question at Sunday lunch and writes the answer on the page is learning where they come from in the best possible way.

Keep it going through the year

Christmas is when you give the gift. The year after is when it fills up. A gentle rhythm works better than a big push: one question a week fills most of a journal within a year.

Tie it to something you already do, such as the Sunday call or the monthly visit. Read last week’s answer, ask this week’s question, and add a photo when one fits. If your family prefers speaking to writing, A Year of Stories sends one question a week and your parent answers out loud.

By next December you will have something no store sells: your parents’ story, told by them, in a form the whole family can hold.

More gift ideas for Mom and Dad

If you are still weighing ideas, our gift guides go deeper on each parent: sentimental gifts for Mom and gifts for a dad who has everything. You can also see all four journals side by side in the shop.